Different Ways
by Seviper
Summary: Two short Oneshots. No names or places are mentioned except in the end so you can guess who it is. Enjoy the story and: do not read without giving review, please. I need critique. Best enjoyed with Neiji vs. Hinata theme from the Naruto OST.
1. Everyone his way

Hey, old friend, how's it going?

Bet you've a lot on your mind. Yeah, me too, life's busy.

I for one am here as often as possible. Just 'cause you reproached me for not taking notice of you enough.

Things go well for you?

Are the others there, too?

I never forgot'em, you know. I know it did not seemed like it back then, but I did care for them. Didn't I went to all of their partings?

Why I don't bestow them flowers? I barely knew them. Not better then you, anyhow. They have enough relatives to visit and care about them. And if they don't have family, they have friends. And if there're no friends, there are always foes, always enough.

I can't avoid the impression that this talk is a little onesided...No! I don't cast a stone at you, how could I anyway...and yet. After all this time it would be nice to hear something from you, old friend.

I miss you. Everyone would do that. How ironic that only I remained...

It hurts all the more.

You always were right, I just wanted to say you that. When we argued, 'bout trivias, 'bout nothing, it always turned out like a mortal combat. For me everything depended on honor and the duty which I had to fulfill for the others. For you it was only about winning. I understand that. Really, I do. I understand now that yours was the more noble one of our reasons.

How I can stand here in the rain? I don't mind, trust me.

In those days I had every reason to hide. You were the better one of us. You ranked friendship and love the first place where I could only see myself. When you looked at her through your eyes you really saw only her, no-one else. Yet she only saw me...

But let's drop it, don't we talk just about me. In the former days everything pivoted on me.

This day's yours. What are you doing?

I bet you can be happy with her now, hm?

Never mind, you don't have to answer me, I know it. I can see it.

I can't disturb you two anymore.

How I can be sure of this?

Oh, you know, it's just a feeling.

Ah, the sun shines now between the clouds. I wish you could feel this warmth. And the soft wind.

But I bet you can, old friend, can't you?

Alas, you still prefer to remain silent. That doesn't matter. You've said so many things which were true, that's enough. Your words are still up here.

I grew accustomed to it. The streets aren't hostile or void anymore, nor is the flat. I've my friends. I can do whatever I want.

Yes, you surely have noticed how much I read lately. It is indeed very funny. I don't absolutely believe that it would appeal to you, but nonetheless it is well written.

I miss your laughter, old friend. It was always more honest than mine.

I made so many mistakes. I behaved like a damn stone, cold and dead still and only watched everything. I should have...But I can't change that now. One has to put behind the past, right? But who am I to talk about dealing with the past.

I didn't knew my father very well. The time I shared with him, it was so long ago and I was so young. Too young...I still can remember how proud I was, of being promoted, of being a good and strong and esteemed man, someone the other would refer to as a worthy son. Although they hated my father. I can't resent them. I didn't like him much, too, I can remember that.

Hm, it's so peaceful here. Not a living soul. Or anything else.

Times have become worse, you can be glad that you don't have to sustain that. Abhorrent creatures are appearing out of thin air. Sometimes I feel like everything went down the pan.

But I can't bring you back.

In the beginning, I did not reproach myself. Instead I simply didn't understand it. I often wished I could travel in time. See you and the others again. How you're standing there, looking at her. I'd wanted to redo everything, or better, wanted to do everything again. I'd wanted to slip into my old body and do everything like I would do it now.

Hold your hand as you gave me your present. But I wasn't strong enough back then. Instead, I hid behind that fabric.

Say her to love you and not me. But I was to nacassistic.

Respect Sensei. I could only respect myself.

Watch the sun setting and do not learning and training all day.

But I can do good for that now. We still got what we deserved, then. And if I think properly the past did only good for me. I can look back on all of you in a better way now, old friend.

I miss all of you. And yet...

I think everything is good as it is.

I think everything went well.

I've found my freedom.

May you rest in peace, too. You've earned that. More than I do. You died too early. And I stayed alive. That wasn't very fair. We were kids back there. But you did not look away, you didn' blink for a moment. So it is and so it ends when one has decided.

So, we're getting company. Who she is? Only an aquaintance, she too knows how it is. She too has flowers. I never had some. I hope that doesn't upsets you, old friend? No, surely not. You know that I have got more than flowers, do you?

Ah, rain started again. Today the weather is fickle. But it is indeed late now and in the sky the black curtain falls. Excuse me, old friend. We'll talk another time.

"Are those for Hayate?"


	2. Not what men think

Morning. Birds twitter. I stand up, still sleepy. Hadn't had enough sleep. Yawn.

Everything seems to be grainy and blurry. I decide to not let this morning become too bad.

After all, today is the day I leave the village.

Finally, after all these years in which we merely greeted each other, I actually look forward to meet my brothers. Haven't seen them for a long time.

Ah, the yearning increases.

And so does the bitter feeling I can't define yet.

I was nicely treated in this village although many remembered my face as the one of a betrayer.

So, what is it then?

Sun rises. I put on the only dress I have with me. The days here were long. Truly different and somehow even refreshing. I enjoyed them but I know I never looked like I did.

Birds I never heard chirp louder than before. I take a deep breath. I can do this. I let my fingers slide over the familiar pattern of my favorite weapon. The efforts to carry and clean it - I never spared them. It feels like I never wandered without it. It has become something of my inner self. Something I show only to a little number of people.

That, inside that strong girl who can take everything better than any man could do, there is a place where she is crying and sometimes even wishing she was never born.

Alright, the moment has come. I step out of the apartment.

Right, to the end of the corridor. Two stairs down. I sigh and smile.

The doors pull open. Sunshine attacks me. I stand there for a second or two, letting my skin warm from the sun.

"Hey, what are you doing here so early? Everyone is still sleeping." A yawn resembling my own emanates from an alleyway.

I happen to immediately recognize the voice. Be nice, I tell myself, be nice. And you may find a friend for a lifetime.


End file.
